Why Does Low Desire Happen?
Low sexual desire is a common presentation for folks seeking sex therapy. It differs from asexuality (see my previous post about that) because it’s distressing for the person experiencing it. For several reasons, it can be problematic in relationships, particularly where sex was an important element of a couple’s connection. That being said, it’s a treatable condition, with biological, psychological, and social underpinnings.
Biology is a huge element of low desire and can be sneaking in subtly. Perhaps an antidepressant is a culprit. Certain antidepressants, called SSRIs, are great at treating depressive symptoms, but often result in low sexual desire and even sexual dysfunction. Hormonal changes can also be a culprit. For instance, it’s very common for perimenopausal and menopausal women to experience a drop in desire. For men who have completed rounds of chemotherapy, the treatment can upset the balance of hormones and desire. Any sort of sexual pain can also contribute to low desire. Even long term use of hormonal birth control can lead to low desire. Biological issues contributing to low desire often require biological solutions, such as hormone replacement therapy.
The next major culprits are psychological factors. For instance, when we’re stressed, sex is often not all that appealing. Anxiety presents another issue. If we’re anxious about how our bodies might respond or if they will respond in the way that we were hoping, that can seriously hit our brakes! Different mental health conditions also play a role. While some folks may want more sex during a hypo-manic or manic episode, during depressive episodes, it’s common for sex drive to drop (also, sex isn’t a drive, but there’s another blog post on that!).
The last major set of causes contributing to low desire are social factors. For instance, is there a sexual assault in the past that’s lingering in the back of your head. Did you just have a huge fight with your partner and are you thinking they are an absolute jerk (watching my language here)? If so, sex is likely off the table.
Suffice to say that the reasons low desire develops are infinite, but generally arise from ordinary and normal circumstances.. The mix of biological, psychological, and social factors are unique to each of us and depend upon our life experiences and individual makeup. However, low desire is treatable and navigable. The best starting place is to understand the biological, psychological, and social factors that are in play for you. Talk therapy can help!
